Refund policy

Return/Refund Policy: Million-Dollar Napkin

We get it; life's full of regrets, but buying our Million-Dollar Napkin shouldn't be one of them. Here's the deal: once you've swiped your credit card for the privilege of owning this overpriced piece of paper, there's no turning back.

No Refunds: Sorry, but we won't be handing back your hard-earned cash. The Million-Dollar Napkin is yours for better or for worse, spill or no spill. We won't be the reason your bank account cries, but we won't be the shoulder to lean on either.

No Returns: Got buyer's remorse? We sympathise, but that napkin is now a part of your financial history. You can't return time, and you certainly can't return this napkin. Once it's shipped, it's off our hands – and onto yours.

Why? Because It's Just a Napkin: We won't pretend this napkin is anything more than what it is – a regular napkin with an irregular price tag. So, before you click 'Buy,' be absolutely, positively sure. We're not here to judge; we're just here to sell you an absurdly expensive napkin.

Remember, life's short – and so is our return policy.